better

Today was an awesome day; one of those days that reminds me why I do the work I do. The day didn’t start out that way, however. I woke up rather discouraged. I was starting to doubt my ability to accomplish all I want to accomplish here, and even more nervous about going home. I’ve talked so much about the changes that have occurred in me – I’m getting scared that you all will be disappointed when I come home and I turn back into the same old Cara. ☺ I may not be what you may expect, and if I am I worry I won’t be able to maintain the desires I have to allow this experience to truly change me. I was worrying about all these things and feeling discouraged, when I realized that those feelings do not come from God. He would not place those thoughts within me. So I prayed that He would take them from my heart. I had read a scripture previously this week from II Corinthians 12:10 that said “For when I am weak, then am I strong” because Christ’s’ strength is made perfect in our weakness. I prayed that in my weakness, today I would be made strong.

God is so good. This day was truly amazing and those feelings I felt this morning were swept away. I walked onto the ward this morning and was immediately greeted by Othathli who jumped into my arms and covered me with kisses.

Then I moved to the treatment room where I spent most of my morning. My time there was filled with perfect Child Life moments. The kids seemed so responsive to the interventions, the parents were appreciative of my presence, and the sisters were completely open to my suggestions. I was able to provide comfort holds for some of the patients and the sisters didn’t make any of the kids lay down unless there was no other way to reach their wounds. It felt so wonderful and I could tell it made a positive impact on the kids.

One little girl, Molly (8 years old) had a particularly hard time with her dressings this morning. They were very dry and stuck to her skin – causing extreme pain when they were taken off. She appeared to have a very difficult time coping. A while later she had to get her blood drawn from a femoral vein. I couldn’t think of a comfort hold for that, so she laid down on the table and had to have her legs held to keep from kicking. She was very upset by all the morning procedures. I was concerned about her coping, so we did some medical play later that day. I brought her a blank cloth doll and her face lit up. She used the markers to create her own buddy and then jumped in to using the medical equipment I had brought for her. When she picked up the bandages, she asked where she could be them. I let her know that the doll was hers and the bandages could go wherever she wanted. She placed them on the doll exactly as her bandages had been placed on her, wrapping it around the dolls chest and then around its arm. She smiled a big smile when she was all done. She continued to play with the other medical equipment, laughing and smiling. Her mother was so pleased with the intervention. It was another wonderful Child Life moment.

This afternoon we took our pictures for the positioning for comfort poster I am making. We got one of the sisters involved as a model for the photo shoot that I think will prove to be very beneficial in the long run. We had to tell her all about what we were doing, so it was a very good way to share the concepts of positioning for comfort. She is a well-respected sister, so I think her involvement in the project will encourage others to support the concepts just by knowing she is supportive. Others stopped by the treatment room to see what we were doing, so I think there was quite a bit of positive PR going on just through the photo shoot. I am so excited for this project. It feels like a way I can leave something tangible behind that will continue to influence the staff and patients long after I leave. I think it makes that transition home a bit easier because I can see that I at least made one identifiable contribution. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’ve been able to make so many more through the interactions I’ve had here, but it’s just nice to be able to actually see something.

I have been reading a book while I’ve been her called “Better” by Atul Gawande. I highly recommend it to everyone. It is written by a surgeon and discusses a number of issues in the medical field which can be applied to any life setting. Like the title suggests, it has challenged me to be better in my profession as a Child Life Specialists, but also in all areas of my life: as a friend, a daughter, a sister, a Sunday school teacher, a volleyball coach, etc. If we settle for average in our live – we will receive average results. But that’s not fair to us or to those patients and families we work with. The challenge is for us to be better – to do better. I’m not saying I’m going to come home and feel like I have to be the best the world has to offer in all these areas, but I know I can be better. And so I challenge myself to do that.

The chapter I was reading today was talking about Cystic Fibrosis facilities around the country. One such medical facility has challenged itself to be the best in the country. At the time the book was written, this facility had gone nearly a decade without a single child or teenager dying of CF. Their oldest patient at that time was 67 years old. That’s pretty amazing! The doctors and nurses at this facility didn’t have any different research or medical equipment than any other hospitals in the country. They had just challenged themselves to do the best for their patients with the resources they had. They didn’t allow themselves to be content with average results. They demanded the best and obviously it paid off for their patients and families.

The awesome thing about being better is that it can be applied to any life, at any time, anywhere in the world. You don’t have to travel to Africa, you don’t have to be saving lives in a military medical unit (another example from the book) – you can become better in whatever area of your life you desire.

So, I’m ending this day on a much different note than I began. I am so excited to make my life better. I can’t wait to be a better Child Life Specialist, a better friend, a better contributor to my community…better! ☺

I was writing down all the ways I wanted to be better as a Child Life Specialist – tangible things I want to implement in my practice when I return home. I started thinking about reasons or excuses that would stand in my way of what I wanted to do. But then I realized that people who do become better are able to acknowledge who they are and have a vision for where they want to go – without excuses. So, I’m committing myself to being better.

Thought I would also include the quote Caroline wrote in my journal today, “If you’re a woodpecker, get out of my boat!” I'd always thought of that in the sense of others telling me I couldn't do something, or providing negativity. But today I realized that applies even more to the negative or discouraging thoughts I often allow myself to have. So I'm applying this quote to my own thoughts today! :)

Love you all.