Warning: this girl CAN be too much fun! :)

Taylor was sick today, so Caroline and I divided the busy unit. Tuesday mornings are also when Caroline has the Pain Management team meeting, so I did dressing changes most of the morning. The sisters loved the CD I made for the treatment room. It was actually pretty cheesy because it was limited to what I had on my i-tunes, everything from instrumental to Rainbow Connection. One sister asked if I would be able to leave the CD after I go back because it created such a calming environment. I assured them that I had made the CD for them. They were very pleased.

We had some victorious moments this morning. I was doing a dressing with one little baby boy. He was very squirmy and very fussy. Finally after all but one of his hands was bandaged, I asked the sisters if I could pick him up. I was picking him up as I asked. The sister was concerned that he wouldn’t hold still and that I was too tall. So, I did a deep knee bend and he held perfectly still. It was perfect. She commented on her surprise at how cooperative he was in that position. My thighs were burning, but it was worth it for our first comfort hold! I know it’s a small one, but every step gets us closer. It felt like a big victory to me. Later that day, Caroline was able to comfort hold for an NG placement, with much pleasure from the sisters, so we’re making steps. It’s actually pretty hard to comfort hold in the treatment room because the kids are on more of a tub/table than a treatment table. They get washed and have their new bandage on all on the same table. So, to climb up and comfort hold, like we do at home, would result in soaking wet pants for the rest of the day. We’ll do the best we can. ☺

We also had our first official playgroup today. It was a huge success in my book. We did syringe painting and the kids loved it! Only two actually participated, but others watched and the parents really enjoyed it. I think it was good for the staff to see as well. Unfortunately one little 2 year old girl may have had too much fun. I introduced myself to her earlier that morning and she seemed pretty leery of me. She didn’t want to engage very much. However, as soon as I walked away she started crying, so I went back and picked her up. After I gave her a while to warm up, we spent the morning looking at books, laughing and talking (once again, we don’t understand each other ☺). One of the other mothers told me I would have to stay the night because this little girl didn’t like anyone, but her mom and dad. She told me I was the first one for her to like. She was attached to her feeding tube, which here means the kids are limited to their beds because they don’t have IV poles. One of the sisters was happy to unhook her, however so she could go to play group. When we got down there, she had a blast and made a mess! It was great. She made three pictures and played with the ball. She would come back to sit on my lap every now and then, but she played and played. It finally came time for me to take her back to her room. Sad times. She screamed and kick and hollered – throwing the biggest tantrum I’d ever seen. I’m usually pretty calm and can outlast most tantrums, but this was the record. I sat with her for at least 30 minutes calmly trying to help her calm and she just wailed and wailed. At one point I had to blow some bubbles…not for her sake, but to calm myself. ☺ The other moms were looking at me like – what did you do?! I felt horrible, but I knew if I took her back to the playroom we’d have to go through this all over again. It literally felt like I was breaking that spirit that we’d taken all morning to rebuild. I think she probably thought if she went back in bed she’d never get to come out again. I finally just had to put her in her crib and walk away. It took a bit, but she eventually calmed herself. I’m hoping that providing another play opportunity tomorrow will help her realize that this will be a consistent option and she won’t have to respond the same. We’ll see what happens.

I thought my day was going to end on that note, so I was a little bummed, but at the last minute I decided to stop in and see the little boy I’ve been working with on one of the other floors. Have I assigned him a name yet? Let’s call him “Larry.” Larry is the 4 year old boy who is so weak and small and my big goal has been just eye contact. Well, today I went to see Larry, just wanting him to see my face, so I could stay a familiar, safe person. When I got there he had just finished physio, so he was laying in bed moaning. I sat next to him and started reading from this African Tales book we bought. It’s the rhyming one with the nice rhythm. I’m still not sure what language he speaks, but the kids seem to like the book. He continued moaning, but I could tell he was following the pictures with his eyes. By the second story, the moaning had softened and slowed a bit. I had only planned to pop in and out because it was time for me to go, but I decided to do a bit more and began singing Old MacDonald. I had some rubber animals with me, so I would hold them up and make the noises while I was singing. Larry lifted his little hand barely off the bed and waved it around as if he was conducting my music. It was awesome! He maintained eye contact with me during the whole song. It wasn’t even that looking through me eye contact; it was true contact! After the song I decided I really had to go, so I transitioned with a goodbye Larry song. I figured it could be his cue for me to leave after our daily meetings. I sang, “Goodbye Larry. Goodbye Larry. Goodbye Larry. I’ll see you again real soon.” (I know my sister is probably totally irritated that I said “real” soon, but "really" didn’t fit.) I repeated the song inserting Cara instead. He seemed to be mimicking the shapes of my mouth, so I repeated the whole thing. By the time I got to goodbye Cara the second time, I thought I heard him singing with me. I sang “bye-bye.” He mimicked “bye-bye” in a singsong voice. I almost peed my pants! We sang bye-bye back and forth for quite some time. I hated leaving during such a highlight moment, but I had to go. As I was walking out one of the doctors stopped me and asked, “Was that him singing that?” I told her it was and she said that was a HUGE breakthrough! Yes!!! Patience and perseverance does pay off. I’ve been praying for Larry (and each of the kids I work with), that I might have wisdom in my interventions with them. I feel like I was guided in that one today. God is good!

Caroline and I were reviewing the successes of the program as we rode the bus home this afternoon. I got a little teary eyed thinking about having to leave it in the not so distant future. It has been such a wonderful experience and I feel so blessed!