inadequacy

This post is actually for yesterday, 30 March. My internet wasn't working so I was unable to post it then. Sorry to all of those who were disappointed by that (namely Mom and Erin!).

Today I was walking in a state of inadequacy. I felt insignificant and ineffective. The dressing changes these children endure daily are extremely painful. I’m not sure how to put it into descriptive enough words for you to understand. I myself don’t know first hand. The best I can even try to relate is when people touch a really sore sunburn, but I know the pain is far worse in these burns. I’m not sure if I’ve described what is entailed in burn dressing change for everyone, so I will just give a brief description of treatments here. First the children are brought back to the treatment room and their old bandages are removed. This in and of it self can be very painful as the old dressings often stick to the wounds and have to be peeled away. The children are then sprayed with water to wash their bodies and begin debridement of the wounds. The next step is to debride using cotton 4x4s. Essentially the dead skin is wiped away. Not only is the painful, it’s often very scary to watch. It’s good when blood is present because the skin is beginning to heal, but that’s difficult for kids to remember when they’re looking at frightening wounds. After debridement, new medicines and dressings are placed on the wounds. These dressings vary in function and the effects they have on kids. Some burn or sting, others are itchy, and some are actually soothing. Finally the children are wrapped back up in bandages and returned to their room – only to repeat the process the next day. Needless to say, this is an extremely painful process. The really deep burns don’t hurt as much because the nerves have been damaged, but as the skin heals it becomes more painful. In the burn unit I work on in the US the children are consciously sedated for these procedures. They’re usually given an IV pain medication that helps them relax and not feel as much, as well as a medication that helps them forget what is happening. I’m not exactly sure what medications the children here receive, but I know they are oral – they are not very sedated and feel much of these procedures. My whole point in explaining this is that I often feel totally inadequate here in helping these children cope with their pain –it would be pushing my coping limits if I were in their place. The treatment room becomes a room of torture and children cry just from stepping in the room. Often times I find that the best I can do is offer a hand to squeeze or a reassuring comment and reminder to breathe. Much of my work comes after the treatment in helping children calm quickly and return to a safe environment. I just wish there was something more I could do to help ease the pain and facilitate coping.

I returned home from work feeling like there was so much more I should be doing to help these children, but not really sure what that was. When I got back I was greeted by an e.mail from my sister, Erin. I’m going to include that e.mail in my blog because the words she shared were exactly what I needed tonight. It’s kind of long, but please read it because the words I think will have meaning in your life as well.

Erin's E.mail:

"Okay, here is my sermonette for the day. This is in no way to diminish that God has great things for you to do. The purpose is to take joy in what you might consider the small means that you are doing, because God can use those small things to make great things happen.

Alma 17:35
…but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things, are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances, doth confound the wise.

36And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise, and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.

Isn’t this scripture awesome! Is there a coincidence that the context of the scripture is talking about the purpose in writing down their testimony? They were just regular people writing the spiritual record of their people. Many times they even say how inadequate they feel in their writing. Could they have had any clue to the extent that it would be published and read today? I know that you blog is touching many hearts and that you have a wide array of friends reading. As you said in your blog, who can imagine the awesome ways God could use your blog!

Talking of the Liahona…
Alma 17:73And behold, it was prepared to shew unto our fathers the course which they should travel in the wilderness; and it did work for them according to their faith in God;

74Therefore if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day;

75Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means, it did shew unto them marvelous works.

79For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course, to the promised land.

80And now I say, Is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow, into a far better land of promise.

This scripture says that it is as easy to heed words of Christ as for forefathers to follow a compass. I think he is saying that they just had to believe the Liahona would work and it did. I know that you are heeding the words of Christ and seeking his Spirit for guidance. Something that might seem so small. But look at the promise. “Shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow, into a far better land of promise!" You don’t need to worry about the end game or how God is going to use you. Continue to follow Him and He will point you in a straight course. He will take care of preparing the land of promise and the manifestations of how He will use you in His work. In summation, "by very small means the Lord bringeth about the salvation of many souls, by small and simple things, are great things brought to pass."

I know your small hugs, rocking, singing and playing are a HUGE blessing to those children that you touch everyday. Rejoice in the small ways that God is using you to touch people and pray for the big ways that your seed will grow. I know that as you remain prayerful God will use all of you for the full extent of His purposes. I love you!"

That's the end of Erin's e.mail...


Isn’t it amazing how God knows exactly what we’ll need in the time we need it. This was exactly what I needed today. That has happened so often on this trip – whether a card from a friend (I got yours today, Ditter!), a call from a home, a chat on facebook, a message in my journal – God is using so many people to bring encouragement to me. One of my friends often says that he would rather be helped by a person than an angel, because that means that God’s people are still responding to His movement in their lives to reach out to others. So thanks to each of my for listening to the promptings of the Spirit and blessing my life in so many ways! I love you.

I'm encouraged to go and continue in the small ways, praying that God will use those to bring big blessings.

P.S. I also wanted to send a shout out to Nana. I heard you walked down to the computer at the Groves just to check my blog. That meant so much to me!! I miss you – TV is not nearly the same in SA. ☺