“God comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” II Corinthians 1: 4
This is the scripture I read when I woke up this morning, and the center of my thoughts throughout the day today. It lead me to remember a very difficult time in my life when I prayed and literally felt wrapped in the arms of the Holy Spirit. That same feeling of comfort I felt in that moment is the feeling I challenged myself to take to the children today.
I don’t believe that God causes all the horrible things that happen in our lives, but I do think He is able to use those experiences to bring about good. Perhaps some of those moments when I have felt troubled and then comforted have been used to help me know how to comfort others. Whether it was through God working in others or through His Holy Spirit, I have so often been comforted and now it is my turn to comfort others.
Sud is a little 2-year-old boy burned to his head, neck, chest and arms. He is not one of my patients, but today Caroline needed to be in theatre with another patient, so I took her place by his bedside. His parents are not able to be present as much as they would like and he often spends a large part of the day crying for them. He seemed to be content lying in his bed with the rails up. Any movement to lower the rails made him more upset. They were probably serving as a safety barrier between him and any unwanted procedure. I knew it would upset him temporarily, but I lowered the rails and picked him up, hoping that the long-term positive interaction would override any temporary upset. I figured some of the tears would be fear of movement and some would be anxiety at leaving the safety of his bed, but I assured him I was just going to hold him and picked him up. He cried very briefly, but soon calmed and nuzzled his way under my chin. I held him and sang to him for almost an hour. At one point I tried to shift him in my arms to what I thought would be a more comfortable position for both of us, but he put his head back where it had been and said “here.” At another point I tried to sit down because my back was getting tired, but he said “pick up, pick up,” so I stood back up. “Like this?” I said. “Yes,” he replied. I didn’t even know he spoke English, but evidently he did enough to communicate what he wanted. I was reminded in that moment how important it is to comfort people in the way they feel and accept comfort. I thought it would be just as comfortable for Sud if I held him while I was sitting down, but obviously he wanted me standing, so that’s what I did. The great thing is that God knows exactly how we need comfort. I have to guess at the best way to comfort others, but God knows us well enough to see our needs and provide the comfort. I’m also reminded that often comforting others may mean sacrifice on the part of the comforter. It may mean stepping outside our own comfort zone or doing things for others that leaves us exhausted – but we remember the way God has comforted us in our time of need and with that comfort we in turn comfort others.
I was holding Sud and started thinking of all the times I have been comforted – all the times I’ve just needed to be held. In that moment, holding Sud, I felt the Spirit come over me and I began to cry. One of the sisters was watching me, so I had to turn away so she wouldn’t think – there goes the crazy American. ☺ I continued singing and rocking Sud until he fell asleep – only to be awakened a few seconds later by one of the sisters for no apparent reason. I decided to press my luck and put Sud down to play. He sat on the edge of the bed and I used his glitter wand to tap on the rail of the bed. He thought that was great and was soon laughing and smiling and tapping along with me. We sang and played, “Knick Knack Paddy Whack, Give a Dog a Bone.” I’m not sure he knew what we were singing, but he copied my sounds really well. He played and laughed. People were stopping by the room to comment on how much better he must be feeling and how good he looked. At one point in our play he got so excited he whacked the crib with the wand, causing it to burst and sending oil and gliter all over me head to toe. He thought that was hilarious, so we laughed and laughed. It was wonderful and I thought of all the times I have been comforted by laughter.
We actually had a number of opportunities for laughter today. We do laugh a lot here. ☺ I know I often write about the tearjerker moments, but the funny laughing moments are just as moving. One of the little girls (I can’t remember if I’ve given her a fake name yet - Nelly) took one of the rolling stamps we have for art and gave herself some bright red lipstick. Anytime someone would look hat her, she thought it was hilarious and would laugh and laugh. Nelly, Othathali, and I danced through the halls today. That was fun until I accidentally whacked Nelly in the head – which is where her wounds are. Great. She cried and I held her for a long time. I actually think the tears that came out were for more than the pain I caused her, so it turned out to be a good release for her – not that I’m suggesting hitting a kid to help them tap into their feelings. Oops.
Nelly also had a lot of fun with medical play today. She loves to take care of the one little baby doll we have. She dresses it and puts a nappy on it. I’m actually very impressed with her nappy folding skills. She just took a washcloth and folded it all up and put it on the baby. She asked me if I was doing it right. I was like – you got me kid. I only do Pampers. ☺ She loves to use the tiny bit of bandages we obtained and wrap it around the baby’s head so she looks just like Nelly. It’s pretty neat to watch. The best part of the play was when they tried to show me how to wrap the blanket around me so I could carry the baby on my back the way women do here. They thought it was quite hilarious to see me toting around a doll on my back. I can’t wait until we can get some medical buddies so the kids can process their medical experiences more frequently.
Comfort also came in the form of advocating today. Othathali (it’s so funny to call her that because of all the kids she has the most American name) had to get her blood drawn today and her mother was not here. As you know, any medical procedure for Othathali can be quite anxiety producing. The doctor asked for her to come in and lay down. I asked if it would be okay for me to hold Othathali on my lap in a comfort hold. The doctor looked somewhat skeptical, but told me it was okay, but she had to hold still. I had Othathali straddle me while I hugged her leaving her one arm free. She cried, but she held perfectly still. The doctor was thankful and we all felt successful! Othathali kept telling us that she was going to tell her mom what we had done – as in tattling on us. I tried to explain to here that the blood draw was not punishment, nor something done to be mean. So often medical procedures are perceived as punishment and it is so important for us to not only address that, but make sure our treatment of the children reinforces that.
Our newest edition to the team- Jamie - came today. We were wearing the same shirt when we met, so she must be pretty cool. :)
Well, that’s all for now. I hope all of you feel comforted and are in turn able to provide comfort to those that need it.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
april fools!
Problems with the internet again...sorry this is late.
In honor of April Fools Day, I was going to write out 3 scenarios and have you guess which one really happened today (I’d already started one about staring in Matt Damon's movie, meeting the love of my life, and signing a contract to stay here indefinitely), but then I got worried that some people wouldn’t get it and would be spreading stories about things that didn’t really happen. I didn’t want to be the cause of confusion, so I used my better judgment and will just stick to the facts today. ☺
Wednesdays are usually the crazy days, but we had far fewer kids on the ward, so it was much more manageable. We have tea after ward rounds every Wednesday. Someone brings in chips, cakes, juice and tea. Today we even had fat cakes - basically fried bread - awesome! We all meet in the OT room and hang out before continuing on with the rest of the day. (This isn’t the only tea time – it seems like some people take about 10 teas a day, but who knows. ☺) They even have a little teacart set up outside the OR, so the doctors can step out and have a cup of tea between cases. That’s one cultural phenomenon I’m yet to wrap my mind around.
Anyway… one of the nurses was retiring who had been there for about 30 years, so we celebrated with her. Prof was asking her about her time here. She mentioned the stress of the treatment room and how the kids just fight against the sisters. She discussed how it was just too much in too little time for too few people to do. Prof asked what could make that better and she said she didn’t know. I was like – I know! ☺ Hopefully we’ll be able to use that discussion as a jumping off point for future recommendations. It does benefit the nurses as well as the kids when there is a supportive environment and I think framing it that way for the nurses will help them to be more receptive to those ideas. Prof also discussed the difficulty in making those treatments better, as there are such limited resources as far as manpower and anesthesia, etc. He mentioned how he wished the kids could be sedated for these treatments, but they just don’t have the staff available for those types of sedations, nor the budget for those medications. I felt so humbled in the moment he said that. I often find myself thinking…well in the US we do it this way. Why can’t these kids have the same treatment? Well – the answer is there just aren’t the resources available here. The staff is doing the best they can with the resources they have available. Don’t get me wrong; there are always areas where the care of patients can be improved. That’s why Child Life is such a great asset here. There is so much we can do to improve the experiences of the patients at this hospital with minimal cost!
Today I tried to work with Othathali again in mastering her fear of theatre. I gathered together a number of medical play supplies and a baby doll and spread them out for us to play. Othathali eagerly joined me, but as soon as she saw the oxygen mask she turned and walked out of the room. She would not return to play until I had removed the mask. I put it back in the prep box and invited her to play. She engaged in a great medical play session for quite some time. When we were done play, she helped me gather up our supplies. However, she refused to even carry the box which held the oxygen mask. Later that day, some of the other kids decided to play with the medical equipment. One of the little girls was using the oxygen mask. Othathali left the room and would not return until the mask was gone. The moral of the story is…we seem to be getting nowhere in mastering this fear. ☺ I was able to talk to Othathali about her surgery for Friday, though. She doesn’t speak of it with as much anxiety as she did the day before. I told her what a great job she had done in theatre the day before and praised her for being so brave. She agreed that she had done a great job and commented that all she had to do was sleep. I asked her where her fear came from. Again, she mentioned the lights – no mention of the mask. I reminded her how the lights had been pushed away before her surgery and she said that helped. I asked her what else would help her not be so frightened for surgery. She stated that the lights were her biggest concern. She confirmed that if we took care of them again, she would probably be less scared in theatre this time. I’m not really sure if that will be the case or not - she seems to be centering all her fears on this one object, but I am glad that we were able to discuss her anxieties a bit.
Missy smiled really big today! Her hands are splinted, so she looks like she has two giant paddles for hands – making it difficult to participating in some activities. Her hands were very sore today, so she did not want to move them at all. The music therapist addressed that issue by putting jingle bells on Missy’s feet. I’m not sure if it was the thrill of being able to participate or what, but she laughed and smiled. It’s so good to see that emotion, because it is rarely revealed with her. Unfortunately the play session had to end and Missy returned to her sad state, crying when we left. I’m hopeful that we can continue to find ways to help her express her emotions and cope with the stress of being alone in the hospital.
One of my biggest challenges today seemed to be setting boundaries with the kids for some of the supplies. It’s really hard to introduce toys here because families and patients often misunderstand that they need to be returned before we leave for the day. Many of the orphaned kids don’t have any person possessions, so they hoard the supplies (often hiding them in drawers, etc). It makes it very difficult to promote sharing and often turns me in to the bad guy when it’s time to go. Kids bargain with me all the time, telling me things like – “You can take one toy, but you must leave the other with me until tomorrow.” When I explain that we have to gather all the toys for the night, they become very cross. I know it’s good for kids to have boundaries, but it’s so difficult to explain to kids who don’t have anything why you can’t just give them the bubbles around your neck. I mean really – but our resources are limited and it is important to maintain them for the future kids to come.
Caroline has been gathering feedback from the staff about our presence here to include in the program evaluation. The staff has been so amazing and supportive – from doctors to nurses to physios. One of the doctors today went on and on about the important role we play here. He mentioned how there are so many patients he only has time to focus on the physical needs and we have been able to remind them that there is more to healing a child than their physical needs. He appreciates the consistent, supportive presence we have been able to provide for the kids. It’s so great to hear that feedback. We are constantly reminded how life is so much different since we’ve come and how they can’t see any other way than for the hospital to allow us to stay on. Hopefully the trust feels the same way!
Tonight we went to the free jazz concert at Greenmarket Square. It kicks off the huge international jazz festival that is held in Cape Town every year. It was a fun evening and the one group we listened to was very good. But now I’m really tired and not even sure what I’ve said in the blog, so I hope it’s coherent.
Our new addition to the Child Life team comes tonight, so we are all so excited to meet her and welcome her to our team. So, welcome Jamie! We’re so glad you’re here! ☺
Goodnight from South Africa!
In honor of April Fools Day, I was going to write out 3 scenarios and have you guess which one really happened today (I’d already started one about staring in Matt Damon's movie, meeting the love of my life, and signing a contract to stay here indefinitely), but then I got worried that some people wouldn’t get it and would be spreading stories about things that didn’t really happen. I didn’t want to be the cause of confusion, so I used my better judgment and will just stick to the facts today. ☺
Wednesdays are usually the crazy days, but we had far fewer kids on the ward, so it was much more manageable. We have tea after ward rounds every Wednesday. Someone brings in chips, cakes, juice and tea. Today we even had fat cakes - basically fried bread - awesome! We all meet in the OT room and hang out before continuing on with the rest of the day. (This isn’t the only tea time – it seems like some people take about 10 teas a day, but who knows. ☺) They even have a little teacart set up outside the OR, so the doctors can step out and have a cup of tea between cases. That’s one cultural phenomenon I’m yet to wrap my mind around.
Anyway… one of the nurses was retiring who had been there for about 30 years, so we celebrated with her. Prof was asking her about her time here. She mentioned the stress of the treatment room and how the kids just fight against the sisters. She discussed how it was just too much in too little time for too few people to do. Prof asked what could make that better and she said she didn’t know. I was like – I know! ☺ Hopefully we’ll be able to use that discussion as a jumping off point for future recommendations. It does benefit the nurses as well as the kids when there is a supportive environment and I think framing it that way for the nurses will help them to be more receptive to those ideas. Prof also discussed the difficulty in making those treatments better, as there are such limited resources as far as manpower and anesthesia, etc. He mentioned how he wished the kids could be sedated for these treatments, but they just don’t have the staff available for those types of sedations, nor the budget for those medications. I felt so humbled in the moment he said that. I often find myself thinking…well in the US we do it this way. Why can’t these kids have the same treatment? Well – the answer is there just aren’t the resources available here. The staff is doing the best they can with the resources they have available. Don’t get me wrong; there are always areas where the care of patients can be improved. That’s why Child Life is such a great asset here. There is so much we can do to improve the experiences of the patients at this hospital with minimal cost!
Today I tried to work with Othathali again in mastering her fear of theatre. I gathered together a number of medical play supplies and a baby doll and spread them out for us to play. Othathali eagerly joined me, but as soon as she saw the oxygen mask she turned and walked out of the room. She would not return to play until I had removed the mask. I put it back in the prep box and invited her to play. She engaged in a great medical play session for quite some time. When we were done play, she helped me gather up our supplies. However, she refused to even carry the box which held the oxygen mask. Later that day, some of the other kids decided to play with the medical equipment. One of the little girls was using the oxygen mask. Othathali left the room and would not return until the mask was gone. The moral of the story is…we seem to be getting nowhere in mastering this fear. ☺ I was able to talk to Othathali about her surgery for Friday, though. She doesn’t speak of it with as much anxiety as she did the day before. I told her what a great job she had done in theatre the day before and praised her for being so brave. She agreed that she had done a great job and commented that all she had to do was sleep. I asked her where her fear came from. Again, she mentioned the lights – no mention of the mask. I reminded her how the lights had been pushed away before her surgery and she said that helped. I asked her what else would help her not be so frightened for surgery. She stated that the lights were her biggest concern. She confirmed that if we took care of them again, she would probably be less scared in theatre this time. I’m not really sure if that will be the case or not - she seems to be centering all her fears on this one object, but I am glad that we were able to discuss her anxieties a bit.
Missy smiled really big today! Her hands are splinted, so she looks like she has two giant paddles for hands – making it difficult to participating in some activities. Her hands were very sore today, so she did not want to move them at all. The music therapist addressed that issue by putting jingle bells on Missy’s feet. I’m not sure if it was the thrill of being able to participate or what, but she laughed and smiled. It’s so good to see that emotion, because it is rarely revealed with her. Unfortunately the play session had to end and Missy returned to her sad state, crying when we left. I’m hopeful that we can continue to find ways to help her express her emotions and cope with the stress of being alone in the hospital.
One of my biggest challenges today seemed to be setting boundaries with the kids for some of the supplies. It’s really hard to introduce toys here because families and patients often misunderstand that they need to be returned before we leave for the day. Many of the orphaned kids don’t have any person possessions, so they hoard the supplies (often hiding them in drawers, etc). It makes it very difficult to promote sharing and often turns me in to the bad guy when it’s time to go. Kids bargain with me all the time, telling me things like – “You can take one toy, but you must leave the other with me until tomorrow.” When I explain that we have to gather all the toys for the night, they become very cross. I know it’s good for kids to have boundaries, but it’s so difficult to explain to kids who don’t have anything why you can’t just give them the bubbles around your neck. I mean really – but our resources are limited and it is important to maintain them for the future kids to come.
Caroline has been gathering feedback from the staff about our presence here to include in the program evaluation. The staff has been so amazing and supportive – from doctors to nurses to physios. One of the doctors today went on and on about the important role we play here. He mentioned how there are so many patients he only has time to focus on the physical needs and we have been able to remind them that there is more to healing a child than their physical needs. He appreciates the consistent, supportive presence we have been able to provide for the kids. It’s so great to hear that feedback. We are constantly reminded how life is so much different since we’ve come and how they can’t see any other way than for the hospital to allow us to stay on. Hopefully the trust feels the same way!
Tonight we went to the free jazz concert at Greenmarket Square. It kicks off the huge international jazz festival that is held in Cape Town every year. It was a fun evening and the one group we listened to was very good. But now I’m really tired and not even sure what I’ve said in the blog, so I hope it’s coherent.
Our new addition to the Child Life team comes tonight, so we are all so excited to meet her and welcome her to our team. So, welcome Jamie! We’re so glad you’re here! ☺
Goodnight from South Africa!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
after the last tear falls...
note: there are two posts for today. the other one is actually yesterdays.
It’s quite fitting that this song is what’s playing as I sit down to write my blog tonight. If you’ve never heard it before, you need to download Andrew Petersons “After the Last Tear Falls.” I have a really hard time picking favorites, especially when it comes to music, but this is definitely one of my favorites. Just a taste of the lyrics (note- this is my interpretation of the lyrics. I used to think the song Whoomp There It Is was Whoomp Aid Adidas, so some words may be wrong…):
After the last tear falls
After the last secrets told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves
And the the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that’s just too hard
There is love
And in the end is oceans of love and love again
We’ll see how the tears that have fallen were caught in the palms
Of the giver of love and the lover of all
And we’ll look back on these tears as old tears
‘Cause after the last tear falls, there is love.
Today was definitely a day of tears. They started when I walked on the ward. My first job is usually to walk through and write down which kids are in which bay and then help divide the list among Caroline, Taylor and myself. My kids are usually in the last bay, so I had almost finished when I walked into their room. There are only 3 kids left in there now as many have gone home. Missy was one of those. As soon as she saw me, she started to cry for me to come pick her up. How could I refuse?! I greeted her with a good morning hug and a little TLC. I had to put her down though, so I could get some of my morning responsibilities done. She cried, but I put my finger up in my “I’ll be back in a minute” way and she settled down. We’ve developed a bit of a sign language so that we can communicate without speaking the same language. She knows the sign for “all done” now and we use it when she’s done eating. I went about some of my morning duties, but every time I walked by her door, she would start to cry. At one point I was playing a game with another little girl out in the hall and Missy started crying because she could see me through the window. I flashed the “just a minute” sign and she quieted, but she just lay in her bed and stared at me with expectant eyes. I’m pretty worried about her. While she’s starting to show more emotion (which is good), I worry about her attachment. Her parents came to visit this weekend and the other mothers told me she was very cross with them. (note- cross is the word of choice when kids are angry or sad or any similar emotion). They said she wouldn’t talk to any of her family members. I’m sure she doesn’t understand why she’s been isolated in this hospital away from her family. She doesn’t understand that they live far away and the mother has a newborn baby she has to take care of. I’m sure she perceives this as punishment and I’m not good enough at charades or signing with her yet to address her misconceptions. ☺ I’m glad that I can be here to provide a consistent support for Missy. I worry what would have happened before Child Life services were available. The staff are very caring, they’re just so short staffed it’s difficult to provide all the care these kids need. Missy needs love an attention, but I know that I can’t provide all she needs. So, I give what I can when I’m there and try to remember that there are oceans and oceans of love available for Missy and pray that she will feel the waves of that all throughout her life.
I accompanied Missy to theatre today. Again, I have to brag about the surgery team here. Missy cried when I tried to put her on the stretcher, so I was allowed to carry her to surgery and hold her on my lap while she got the anesthesia. She was calm the whole time. What could potentially be very stressful for her wasn’t stressful at all.
Othathali (it’s really hard to make up African names, but that one’s for you Caro) on other hand was a very different story. She was burned about a year ago and after an extremely long hospitalization has had to return to the hospital for numerous surgeries to help wounds heal, as well as reconstructive surgeries to minimize the scars which cover her body. Othathali has spunk, though! She is feisty and funny and always getting into trouble. She’s probably about 5 or 6. She’s very brave when it comes to dressing changes, but the one thing that scares her more than anything is theatre. Guess what today was? Theatre day for Othathali. I tried to prep her with the mask and the prep book. She looked through the book, but would have nothing to do with the mask. She would watch as other kids played with it, but refused to touch it herself. When they came to get Othathali for surgery she cried and cried. Her mother carried her and I was able to briefly distract her, but as we got closer to theatre she became more and more anxious. One of my favorite anesthesiologist was her doctor today, so we began brainstorming what would be best to ease Othathali’s anxiety. She asked how the prep went and I told her about the fear of the mask. Othathali also reported that the lights scared her. The anesthesiologist prepped the room for Othathali, moving away the big lights and turning all the lights down. She turned on music and had everyone leave, except those directly involved with the sedation (there are usually a lot members from the burn team present). Othathali’s mom was given a chance to talk to her, then she was slowly brought into the room. She sat on her mother’s lap and while she cried, she remained still. The anesthesiologist slowly brought the mask forward, allowing Othathali choices when she could (she was so comforting!). Othathali cried, but she didn’t refuse the mask. It was much smoother than any of us expected. Her mother said in the past she had to be held down and the mask forced on her face (I wonder where her fear comes from!). While Othathali’s sedation was still stressful for her, I’m hopeful that with the help of a supportive staff, she will continue to overcome her fears. I could tell her mother was stressed, so I spoke with her afterwards. She told me Othathali has just gone through so much medically, that she can’t really say anything to make things better. I validated her feelings and assured her that while those negative experiences obviously have had an affect on Othathali, we will continue to work with her and give her opportunity to master those fears. I couldn’t help but wonder, however, what it would have been like if Othathali would have had Child Life available from the beginning of her hospitalization. If she would have been prepped for the first surgery, would she still be so afraid of the masks or the lights. If she’d mastered her fears with medical play, would it still create so much anxiety in her to walk the halls to the theatre. The answer may very well be yes, but I can’t help but wonder. We haven’t given up on Othathali, though. She’s coming back in on Friday for another surgery. They are going to try a different pre-med to help her rest before her surgery. I’m trying to come up with new medical play ideas and preps to assist her in overcoming her fears. Hopefully together we can empower Othathali to cope with her fears! After Othathli’s surgery, she was very weepy waking up in the recovery room. The anesthesiologist allowed the mom to come back to help assist in the wake up process – another amazing example of family centered care!
There were more tears throughout the day. I often just follow the sound of crying to take me through my day. The hard part is tearing yourself away to comfort another child. I can’t help but thinking about that song I mentioned – after the last tear falls is oceans of love. Can you picture that? I’ve had the opportunity to spend some time at the ocean this last week – it’s vast! It’s deep! It’s powerful! I just want to throw these kids into that ocean of love and have them engulfed in it. I have a lot of love in me, but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t fill an ocean! But I give the trickle of love I have and pray that God will provide the ocean.
I have to leave for work at 6:30 tomorrow for the infamously exhausting dressing day, so I need to sign off, but wanted to include a couple neat conversations before I did…
The other day Caroline was accompanying a small boy to theatre. He’d been given a premed that caused him to sleep, but his surgery ended up being delayed until later that day. He woke up right before surgery and Caroline encouraged the mother to hold him. He went right back to sleep. He stayed calm and restful while the anesthesia was induced and everything went smoothly – seems like no big deal, right? Well Prof (the head burn doc) wanted to know when he’d received his premed. No one knew, so he made Caroline go find out. Caroline wasn’t really sure why he wanted to know, but she went to find out for him. She reported the time back to him and he said – See! The premed wore off a long time ago. This is because of you! He is calm because of you. ☺ It was a huge compliment…especially since Prof was admittedly uncertain about our presence here in the first place.
This afternoon I was also able to report back the progress I’ve seen in Larry since we began our work with him. I’m getting so confused with these made up names- but Larry is the one that was so weak, but now is sitting up playing and had the huge break through of singing bye-bye to me the other day. I was able to hold him for the first time yesterday. When I picked him up, all I could feel were ribs on his front and back. He laid his head against me and I sang to him. He continued the moaning that he so often does, but every now and then his moaning would match my song and he would sing a long for a while. He also explored my skin with his fingers. I’ve mentioned how tactile he is and as I held him, his fingers traced my face and up and down my neck and arms. He would sit up every now and then, but then rest his head against me and take a deep sigh and rest. It was an awesome intervention. Today I went back and he was sitting up in a chair eating his lunch. His mom was there and I think he might be going home soon. Anyway, I was talking to Dr. Jenny about this (the head of the pain management team that helped to bring us here). She was so pleased with his progress and complimented me on my role in that. I thanked her, but told her I wasn’t sure I had anything to do with it. She said that we too often don’t take credit for our work – that the impact we have had here is so great, that our presence is impacting these patients.
So to my Child Life friends – allow yourselves to accept the impact you have in the lives of the kids you serve today. The work you do is so great! Until you see what it’s like without you – you don't fully understand the magnitude of your work, but take it from me. It’s powerful! While the focus is on healing the children’s bodies, don’t underestimate the impact you have in healing their spirits!
And to all my other friends – may you be engulfed in an ocean of love today, and as you feel that love be able to spread it to the lives of others. Just image how wonderful this world would be if each person was allowed to swim in that love!
It’s quite fitting that this song is what’s playing as I sit down to write my blog tonight. If you’ve never heard it before, you need to download Andrew Petersons “After the Last Tear Falls.” I have a really hard time picking favorites, especially when it comes to music, but this is definitely one of my favorites. Just a taste of the lyrics (note- this is my interpretation of the lyrics. I used to think the song Whoomp There It Is was Whoomp Aid Adidas, so some words may be wrong…):
After the last tear falls
After the last secrets told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves
And the the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that’s just too hard
There is love
And in the end is oceans of love and love again
We’ll see how the tears that have fallen were caught in the palms
Of the giver of love and the lover of all
And we’ll look back on these tears as old tears
‘Cause after the last tear falls, there is love.
Today was definitely a day of tears. They started when I walked on the ward. My first job is usually to walk through and write down which kids are in which bay and then help divide the list among Caroline, Taylor and myself. My kids are usually in the last bay, so I had almost finished when I walked into their room. There are only 3 kids left in there now as many have gone home. Missy was one of those. As soon as she saw me, she started to cry for me to come pick her up. How could I refuse?! I greeted her with a good morning hug and a little TLC. I had to put her down though, so I could get some of my morning responsibilities done. She cried, but I put my finger up in my “I’ll be back in a minute” way and she settled down. We’ve developed a bit of a sign language so that we can communicate without speaking the same language. She knows the sign for “all done” now and we use it when she’s done eating. I went about some of my morning duties, but every time I walked by her door, she would start to cry. At one point I was playing a game with another little girl out in the hall and Missy started crying because she could see me through the window. I flashed the “just a minute” sign and she quieted, but she just lay in her bed and stared at me with expectant eyes. I’m pretty worried about her. While she’s starting to show more emotion (which is good), I worry about her attachment. Her parents came to visit this weekend and the other mothers told me she was very cross with them. (note- cross is the word of choice when kids are angry or sad or any similar emotion). They said she wouldn’t talk to any of her family members. I’m sure she doesn’t understand why she’s been isolated in this hospital away from her family. She doesn’t understand that they live far away and the mother has a newborn baby she has to take care of. I’m sure she perceives this as punishment and I’m not good enough at charades or signing with her yet to address her misconceptions. ☺ I’m glad that I can be here to provide a consistent support for Missy. I worry what would have happened before Child Life services were available. The staff are very caring, they’re just so short staffed it’s difficult to provide all the care these kids need. Missy needs love an attention, but I know that I can’t provide all she needs. So, I give what I can when I’m there and try to remember that there are oceans and oceans of love available for Missy and pray that she will feel the waves of that all throughout her life.
I accompanied Missy to theatre today. Again, I have to brag about the surgery team here. Missy cried when I tried to put her on the stretcher, so I was allowed to carry her to surgery and hold her on my lap while she got the anesthesia. She was calm the whole time. What could potentially be very stressful for her wasn’t stressful at all.
Othathali (it’s really hard to make up African names, but that one’s for you Caro) on other hand was a very different story. She was burned about a year ago and after an extremely long hospitalization has had to return to the hospital for numerous surgeries to help wounds heal, as well as reconstructive surgeries to minimize the scars which cover her body. Othathali has spunk, though! She is feisty and funny and always getting into trouble. She’s probably about 5 or 6. She’s very brave when it comes to dressing changes, but the one thing that scares her more than anything is theatre. Guess what today was? Theatre day for Othathali. I tried to prep her with the mask and the prep book. She looked through the book, but would have nothing to do with the mask. She would watch as other kids played with it, but refused to touch it herself. When they came to get Othathali for surgery she cried and cried. Her mother carried her and I was able to briefly distract her, but as we got closer to theatre she became more and more anxious. One of my favorite anesthesiologist was her doctor today, so we began brainstorming what would be best to ease Othathali’s anxiety. She asked how the prep went and I told her about the fear of the mask. Othathali also reported that the lights scared her. The anesthesiologist prepped the room for Othathali, moving away the big lights and turning all the lights down. She turned on music and had everyone leave, except those directly involved with the sedation (there are usually a lot members from the burn team present). Othathali’s mom was given a chance to talk to her, then she was slowly brought into the room. She sat on her mother’s lap and while she cried, she remained still. The anesthesiologist slowly brought the mask forward, allowing Othathali choices when she could (she was so comforting!). Othathali cried, but she didn’t refuse the mask. It was much smoother than any of us expected. Her mother said in the past she had to be held down and the mask forced on her face (I wonder where her fear comes from!). While Othathali’s sedation was still stressful for her, I’m hopeful that with the help of a supportive staff, she will continue to overcome her fears. I could tell her mother was stressed, so I spoke with her afterwards. She told me Othathali has just gone through so much medically, that she can’t really say anything to make things better. I validated her feelings and assured her that while those negative experiences obviously have had an affect on Othathali, we will continue to work with her and give her opportunity to master those fears. I couldn’t help but wonder, however, what it would have been like if Othathali would have had Child Life available from the beginning of her hospitalization. If she would have been prepped for the first surgery, would she still be so afraid of the masks or the lights. If she’d mastered her fears with medical play, would it still create so much anxiety in her to walk the halls to the theatre. The answer may very well be yes, but I can’t help but wonder. We haven’t given up on Othathali, though. She’s coming back in on Friday for another surgery. They are going to try a different pre-med to help her rest before her surgery. I’m trying to come up with new medical play ideas and preps to assist her in overcoming her fears. Hopefully together we can empower Othathali to cope with her fears! After Othathli’s surgery, she was very weepy waking up in the recovery room. The anesthesiologist allowed the mom to come back to help assist in the wake up process – another amazing example of family centered care!
There were more tears throughout the day. I often just follow the sound of crying to take me through my day. The hard part is tearing yourself away to comfort another child. I can’t help but thinking about that song I mentioned – after the last tear falls is oceans of love. Can you picture that? I’ve had the opportunity to spend some time at the ocean this last week – it’s vast! It’s deep! It’s powerful! I just want to throw these kids into that ocean of love and have them engulfed in it. I have a lot of love in me, but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t fill an ocean! But I give the trickle of love I have and pray that God will provide the ocean.
I have to leave for work at 6:30 tomorrow for the infamously exhausting dressing day, so I need to sign off, but wanted to include a couple neat conversations before I did…
The other day Caroline was accompanying a small boy to theatre. He’d been given a premed that caused him to sleep, but his surgery ended up being delayed until later that day. He woke up right before surgery and Caroline encouraged the mother to hold him. He went right back to sleep. He stayed calm and restful while the anesthesia was induced and everything went smoothly – seems like no big deal, right? Well Prof (the head burn doc) wanted to know when he’d received his premed. No one knew, so he made Caroline go find out. Caroline wasn’t really sure why he wanted to know, but she went to find out for him. She reported the time back to him and he said – See! The premed wore off a long time ago. This is because of you! He is calm because of you. ☺ It was a huge compliment…especially since Prof was admittedly uncertain about our presence here in the first place.
This afternoon I was also able to report back the progress I’ve seen in Larry since we began our work with him. I’m getting so confused with these made up names- but Larry is the one that was so weak, but now is sitting up playing and had the huge break through of singing bye-bye to me the other day. I was able to hold him for the first time yesterday. When I picked him up, all I could feel were ribs on his front and back. He laid his head against me and I sang to him. He continued the moaning that he so often does, but every now and then his moaning would match my song and he would sing a long for a while. He also explored my skin with his fingers. I’ve mentioned how tactile he is and as I held him, his fingers traced my face and up and down my neck and arms. He would sit up every now and then, but then rest his head against me and take a deep sigh and rest. It was an awesome intervention. Today I went back and he was sitting up in a chair eating his lunch. His mom was there and I think he might be going home soon. Anyway, I was talking to Dr. Jenny about this (the head of the pain management team that helped to bring us here). She was so pleased with his progress and complimented me on my role in that. I thanked her, but told her I wasn’t sure I had anything to do with it. She said that we too often don’t take credit for our work – that the impact we have had here is so great, that our presence is impacting these patients.
So to my Child Life friends – allow yourselves to accept the impact you have in the lives of the kids you serve today. The work you do is so great! Until you see what it’s like without you – you don't fully understand the magnitude of your work, but take it from me. It’s powerful! While the focus is on healing the children’s bodies, don’t underestimate the impact you have in healing their spirits!
And to all my other friends – may you be engulfed in an ocean of love today, and as you feel that love be able to spread it to the lives of others. Just image how wonderful this world would be if each person was allowed to swim in that love!
inadequacy
This post is actually for yesterday, 30 March. My internet wasn't working so I was unable to post it then. Sorry to all of those who were disappointed by that (namely Mom and Erin!).
Today I was walking in a state of inadequacy. I felt insignificant and ineffective. The dressing changes these children endure daily are extremely painful. I’m not sure how to put it into descriptive enough words for you to understand. I myself don’t know first hand. The best I can even try to relate is when people touch a really sore sunburn, but I know the pain is far worse in these burns. I’m not sure if I’ve described what is entailed in burn dressing change for everyone, so I will just give a brief description of treatments here. First the children are brought back to the treatment room and their old bandages are removed. This in and of it self can be very painful as the old dressings often stick to the wounds and have to be peeled away. The children are then sprayed with water to wash their bodies and begin debridement of the wounds. The next step is to debride using cotton 4x4s. Essentially the dead skin is wiped away. Not only is the painful, it’s often very scary to watch. It’s good when blood is present because the skin is beginning to heal, but that’s difficult for kids to remember when they’re looking at frightening wounds. After debridement, new medicines and dressings are placed on the wounds. These dressings vary in function and the effects they have on kids. Some burn or sting, others are itchy, and some are actually soothing. Finally the children are wrapped back up in bandages and returned to their room – only to repeat the process the next day. Needless to say, this is an extremely painful process. The really deep burns don’t hurt as much because the nerves have been damaged, but as the skin heals it becomes more painful. In the burn unit I work on in the US the children are consciously sedated for these procedures. They’re usually given an IV pain medication that helps them relax and not feel as much, as well as a medication that helps them forget what is happening. I’m not exactly sure what medications the children here receive, but I know they are oral – they are not very sedated and feel much of these procedures. My whole point in explaining this is that I often feel totally inadequate here in helping these children cope with their pain –it would be pushing my coping limits if I were in their place. The treatment room becomes a room of torture and children cry just from stepping in the room. Often times I find that the best I can do is offer a hand to squeeze or a reassuring comment and reminder to breathe. Much of my work comes after the treatment in helping children calm quickly and return to a safe environment. I just wish there was something more I could do to help ease the pain and facilitate coping.
I returned home from work feeling like there was so much more I should be doing to help these children, but not really sure what that was. When I got back I was greeted by an e.mail from my sister, Erin. I’m going to include that e.mail in my blog because the words she shared were exactly what I needed tonight. It’s kind of long, but please read it because the words I think will have meaning in your life as well.
Erin's E.mail:
"Okay, here is my sermonette for the day. This is in no way to diminish that God has great things for you to do. The purpose is to take joy in what you might consider the small means that you are doing, because God can use those small things to make great things happen.
Alma 17:35
…but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things, are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances, doth confound the wise.
36And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise, and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.
Isn’t this scripture awesome! Is there a coincidence that the context of the scripture is talking about the purpose in writing down their testimony? They were just regular people writing the spiritual record of their people. Many times they even say how inadequate they feel in their writing. Could they have had any clue to the extent that it would be published and read today? I know that you blog is touching many hearts and that you have a wide array of friends reading. As you said in your blog, who can imagine the awesome ways God could use your blog!
Talking of the Liahona…
Alma 17:73And behold, it was prepared to shew unto our fathers the course which they should travel in the wilderness; and it did work for them according to their faith in God;
74Therefore if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day;
75Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means, it did shew unto them marvelous works.
79For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course, to the promised land.
80And now I say, Is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow, into a far better land of promise.
This scripture says that it is as easy to heed words of Christ as for forefathers to follow a compass. I think he is saying that they just had to believe the Liahona would work and it did. I know that you are heeding the words of Christ and seeking his Spirit for guidance. Something that might seem so small. But look at the promise. “Shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow, into a far better land of promise!" You don’t need to worry about the end game or how God is going to use you. Continue to follow Him and He will point you in a straight course. He will take care of preparing the land of promise and the manifestations of how He will use you in His work. In summation, "by very small means the Lord bringeth about the salvation of many souls, by small and simple things, are great things brought to pass."
I know your small hugs, rocking, singing and playing are a HUGE blessing to those children that you touch everyday. Rejoice in the small ways that God is using you to touch people and pray for the big ways that your seed will grow. I know that as you remain prayerful God will use all of you for the full extent of His purposes. I love you!"
That's the end of Erin's e.mail...
Isn’t it amazing how God knows exactly what we’ll need in the time we need it. This was exactly what I needed today. That has happened so often on this trip – whether a card from a friend (I got yours today, Ditter!), a call from a home, a chat on facebook, a message in my journal – God is using so many people to bring encouragement to me. One of my friends often says that he would rather be helped by a person than an angel, because that means that God’s people are still responding to His movement in their lives to reach out to others. So thanks to each of my for listening to the promptings of the Spirit and blessing my life in so many ways! I love you.
I'm encouraged to go and continue in the small ways, praying that God will use those to bring big blessings.
P.S. I also wanted to send a shout out to Nana. I heard you walked down to the computer at the Groves just to check my blog. That meant so much to me!! I miss you – TV is not nearly the same in SA. ☺
Today I was walking in a state of inadequacy. I felt insignificant and ineffective. The dressing changes these children endure daily are extremely painful. I’m not sure how to put it into descriptive enough words for you to understand. I myself don’t know first hand. The best I can even try to relate is when people touch a really sore sunburn, but I know the pain is far worse in these burns. I’m not sure if I’ve described what is entailed in burn dressing change for everyone, so I will just give a brief description of treatments here. First the children are brought back to the treatment room and their old bandages are removed. This in and of it self can be very painful as the old dressings often stick to the wounds and have to be peeled away. The children are then sprayed with water to wash their bodies and begin debridement of the wounds. The next step is to debride using cotton 4x4s. Essentially the dead skin is wiped away. Not only is the painful, it’s often very scary to watch. It’s good when blood is present because the skin is beginning to heal, but that’s difficult for kids to remember when they’re looking at frightening wounds. After debridement, new medicines and dressings are placed on the wounds. These dressings vary in function and the effects they have on kids. Some burn or sting, others are itchy, and some are actually soothing. Finally the children are wrapped back up in bandages and returned to their room – only to repeat the process the next day. Needless to say, this is an extremely painful process. The really deep burns don’t hurt as much because the nerves have been damaged, but as the skin heals it becomes more painful. In the burn unit I work on in the US the children are consciously sedated for these procedures. They’re usually given an IV pain medication that helps them relax and not feel as much, as well as a medication that helps them forget what is happening. I’m not exactly sure what medications the children here receive, but I know they are oral – they are not very sedated and feel much of these procedures. My whole point in explaining this is that I often feel totally inadequate here in helping these children cope with their pain –it would be pushing my coping limits if I were in their place. The treatment room becomes a room of torture and children cry just from stepping in the room. Often times I find that the best I can do is offer a hand to squeeze or a reassuring comment and reminder to breathe. Much of my work comes after the treatment in helping children calm quickly and return to a safe environment. I just wish there was something more I could do to help ease the pain and facilitate coping.
I returned home from work feeling like there was so much more I should be doing to help these children, but not really sure what that was. When I got back I was greeted by an e.mail from my sister, Erin. I’m going to include that e.mail in my blog because the words she shared were exactly what I needed tonight. It’s kind of long, but please read it because the words I think will have meaning in your life as well.
Erin's E.mail:
"Okay, here is my sermonette for the day. This is in no way to diminish that God has great things for you to do. The purpose is to take joy in what you might consider the small means that you are doing, because God can use those small things to make great things happen.
Alma 17:35
…but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things, are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances, doth confound the wise.
36And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise, and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.
Isn’t this scripture awesome! Is there a coincidence that the context of the scripture is talking about the purpose in writing down their testimony? They were just regular people writing the spiritual record of their people. Many times they even say how inadequate they feel in their writing. Could they have had any clue to the extent that it would be published and read today? I know that you blog is touching many hearts and that you have a wide array of friends reading. As you said in your blog, who can imagine the awesome ways God could use your blog!
Talking of the Liahona…
Alma 17:73And behold, it was prepared to shew unto our fathers the course which they should travel in the wilderness; and it did work for them according to their faith in God;
74Therefore if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day;
75Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means, it did shew unto them marvelous works.
79For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course, to the promised land.
80And now I say, Is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow, into a far better land of promise.
This scripture says that it is as easy to heed words of Christ as for forefathers to follow a compass. I think he is saying that they just had to believe the Liahona would work and it did. I know that you are heeding the words of Christ and seeking his Spirit for guidance. Something that might seem so small. But look at the promise. “Shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow, into a far better land of promise!" You don’t need to worry about the end game or how God is going to use you. Continue to follow Him and He will point you in a straight course. He will take care of preparing the land of promise and the manifestations of how He will use you in His work. In summation, "by very small means the Lord bringeth about the salvation of many souls, by small and simple things, are great things brought to pass."
I know your small hugs, rocking, singing and playing are a HUGE blessing to those children that you touch everyday. Rejoice in the small ways that God is using you to touch people and pray for the big ways that your seed will grow. I know that as you remain prayerful God will use all of you for the full extent of His purposes. I love you!"
That's the end of Erin's e.mail...
Isn’t it amazing how God knows exactly what we’ll need in the time we need it. This was exactly what I needed today. That has happened so often on this trip – whether a card from a friend (I got yours today, Ditter!), a call from a home, a chat on facebook, a message in my journal – God is using so many people to bring encouragement to me. One of my friends often says that he would rather be helped by a person than an angel, because that means that God’s people are still responding to His movement in their lives to reach out to others. So thanks to each of my for listening to the promptings of the Spirit and blessing my life in so many ways! I love you.
I'm encouraged to go and continue in the small ways, praying that God will use those to bring big blessings.
P.S. I also wanted to send a shout out to Nana. I heard you walked down to the computer at the Groves just to check my blog. That meant so much to me!! I miss you – TV is not nearly the same in SA. ☺
Sunday, March 29, 2009
sunday, sunday
After such and eventful Saturday, my Sunday turned out to be very relaxing and low key so that I could recuperate for the work week ahead. I was supposed go with some girls to a church in one of the townships, but that fell through so I went back to Hillsong. My roommate Elizabeth went ahead early and Mwaka wasn’t going today, so I was on my own to get to church. I hate spending the money on a cab if the place is in any sort of walking distance, so I decided to trek out on my own to find church. I’ve walked home from church before, but never to church and never alone. I memorized the map in my head and started my walk – it’s probably a couple miles. I found my way perfectly and walked the whole way without anxiety or fear. Part of that is probably me getting used to the city, but I think much of it comes from the prayer I’ve been praying for God to fill my heart with love for all the people of this country, including those I pass by on the streets. Because “perfect love casts out all fear,” I feel like my anxieties are gone and I have love in my heart and an assurance of protection from someone far greater than me. What a blessing.
I ended up spending the afternoon on the roof, reading and catching up on journal time. The comment from Caroline in my journal today was, “Eye hat not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” I Corinthians 2:9. I have a pretty big imagination, so to think that God has prepared something greater for me than I can imagine is mind-boggling! I feel like I’ve accomplished some of what I imagined for myself on this trip, but I know that what God has planned for me is far greater and I pray that I will be open to His revelation of that to me that I might be able to accomplished the great things He has in mind. The next verse of that scripture goes on to say, “But God hath revealed them unto us by His Spirit.” I pray that my heart would be open to that revelation.
Our 2 new additions to the Child Life team join us this week and I am so excited for that! Hopefully we’ll be able be inspired by fresh team members and expand and improve our services throughout the hospital. Speaking of which – I forgot to mention something that happened the other day and wanted to include it before I forgot. The head burn surgeon was talking with Caroline the other day and told her that at first he wasn’t sure what to think about us coming in and providing services he didn’t really deem necessary. However, after he has seen the affect it has had on the kids – especially in surgery, he is a big supporter of Child Life. In his own words – “there’s no more of that crying and carrying on” in the operating room. ☺ How great to have that affirmation.
I got a chance to talk to my friend Caroline from home tonight. What a blessing to hear a familiar voice. ☺ I am so appreciative of the support she has been for me on this trip. She has challenged me every step of the way to truly accomplish great things here and I am so thankful for that. In our discussion she asked me to pray for some things in her life, stating that she knew I had lots of other things to pray about here. I wanted to make sure you all knew that while you are praying for me – I have not forgotten to continue in my prayers for you. Even though I’m far away, I daily remember you and your needs and pray that God’s blessing will be upon you.
I love you!
I ended up spending the afternoon on the roof, reading and catching up on journal time. The comment from Caroline in my journal today was, “Eye hat not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” I Corinthians 2:9. I have a pretty big imagination, so to think that God has prepared something greater for me than I can imagine is mind-boggling! I feel like I’ve accomplished some of what I imagined for myself on this trip, but I know that what God has planned for me is far greater and I pray that I will be open to His revelation of that to me that I might be able to accomplished the great things He has in mind. The next verse of that scripture goes on to say, “But God hath revealed them unto us by His Spirit.” I pray that my heart would be open to that revelation.
Our 2 new additions to the Child Life team join us this week and I am so excited for that! Hopefully we’ll be able be inspired by fresh team members and expand and improve our services throughout the hospital. Speaking of which – I forgot to mention something that happened the other day and wanted to include it before I forgot. The head burn surgeon was talking with Caroline the other day and told her that at first he wasn’t sure what to think about us coming in and providing services he didn’t really deem necessary. However, after he has seen the affect it has had on the kids – especially in surgery, he is a big supporter of Child Life. In his own words – “there’s no more of that crying and carrying on” in the operating room. ☺ How great to have that affirmation.
I got a chance to talk to my friend Caroline from home tonight. What a blessing to hear a familiar voice. ☺ I am so appreciative of the support she has been for me on this trip. She has challenged me every step of the way to truly accomplish great things here and I am so thankful for that. In our discussion she asked me to pray for some things in her life, stating that she knew I had lots of other things to pray about here. I wanted to make sure you all knew that while you are praying for me – I have not forgotten to continue in my prayers for you. Even though I’m far away, I daily remember you and your needs and pray that God’s blessing will be upon you.
I love you!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
if the rest of this year is anything like my birthday...
Today is my “golden” birthday. For those of you who don’t know, that means I turned 28 on the 28th. While my birthday has never really been a huge deal to me, I was a little nervous before coming on this trip that I would be here for my birthday. I pictured myself in some little café ordering a cupcake and signing Happy Birthday to myself. That would have been awesome in and of it self – I mean who spends their birthday in Cape Town, South Africa! Well… a lot of people do, especially the ones that live here, but you get my point.
Originally there was a possibility we would be painting a school in one of the townships, but that got canceled. I was pretty bummed about that, so imagine my surprise when today was the best birthday ever!! I started off the day by celebrating 28s. I took 28 flights of stairs, ran on the treadmill for 28 minutes and then rode the stationary bike for 28 more. I tried to think of all the other 28 things I could do, but 28 bottles of water sounded like a bit much and 28 phone calls home would have been too expensive, so the 28s ended there.
My friends and I met for breakfast to plan out the rest of our time here in Cape Town. After breakfast they asked what I wanted to do for my birthday, hinting that our evening plans had already been made, but that the afternoon was open. We decided on a relaxing day at the beach since I hadn’t done that yet. It was a beautiful day. We laid around on the beach, reading and talking and just enjoying the lazy afternoon. Then we headed back home. I was instructed on what to wear and told to meet back down in the lobby in a few hours. I ended up chatting with a friend from home, so I rushed to get ready in about 15 minutes, just barely getting the sand rinsed off my legs. My friend had called a taxi and told the driver were to take us without giving me any idea. I think the taxi driver took us a backwards route to try to throw me off – little did he know I have no sense of direction in Cape Town, so it was no use. (p.s. he was not scamming us – the price was the same as usual. ☺) On our way there they asked me what I thought they were surprising me with. I explained that I’m pretty hard to surprise – I usually make up such lavish surprises that when the real ones come, I’ve already thought of them. I told them that I’d tossed around the idea of someone from the US coming to surprise me … or maybe even some celebrities joining us to celebrate my big day. They thought that was pretty funny and said they hoped I wasn't disappointed.
We ended up down at the waterfront and walked along the water by all the sailboats. At the end of the row, we stopped in front of a boat. My friends had arranged for a sunset sail in the bay on a cute little sailboat. How perfect!! We had a few minutes to mill around before time to leave, so we walked up and down the water. As we were walking, I saw a man with an earpiece talking into his sleeve. I thought that was odd and looked up to see another one a few feet in front of us. I brought it to the attention of my friends who looked around to see who could possible be that important. Tami spotted Matt Damon in a group of people and tried to point him out. I assured her it wasn’t Matt Damon. We could only see his back, but I was sure it wasn’t him. Then, he turned – totally Matt Damon! Right there in front of us. He’s shooting a movie in Cape Town. I never thought I would be so star struck in a situation like that, but I totally was. We tried to shoot some nonchalant photos, but were blocked by his body guards. We had to walk back by him to get on our boat and the body guards followed us. I know – we look like shady characters. ☺ We still couldn’t get a picture, so we decided to get on the boat. He sat down at a table on the water for dinner and we climbed aboard our adorable sailboat with the cutest old man captain. From our seats on the boat, we had a direct view of Mr. Damon. He looked over at us and we waved. I yelled out – “It’s my birthday!” He said. “Happy Birthday!!” We giggled and smiled and acted like totally idiots. ☺ He let us take some pictures of him and even smiled for the camera. He was very nice. Then as we were about to pull away he looked at us again, smiled, waved and said, “Have a happy birthday!” Caroline says he also said “You look smashing” but Tami and I were a little to excited to notice. We told him to have a great dinner and waved as we drove away. Caroline insisted that he said “You look smashing.” I said he probably said, “You look smashed” because it took me a while to get my sea legs under me and I ended up a bit sea sick, but she’s pretty confident, so we’ll go with what she said. ☺ Anyway…I guess they did surprise me with my celebrity appearance after all. Needless to say, we were pretty excited. I’m sure Matt Damon will remember my birthday for many years to come. ☺
The boat ride was perfect. No one else had bought tickets for the night, so it was like we’d chartered the sailboat for ourselves. There were beautiful views of the city and Table Mountain and we watched the sun set over the ocean. The girls had brought some snacks and even some sparkling grape juice for me. ☺ The waves were huge, so there was quite a bit of rocking and I was just thankful I didn’t topple over the side of the boat. It was my first time on the ocean in a sailboat and I didn’t quite master the skill of walking without having to lunge out and catch myself on ropes and cables along the way. I started to get a little seasick at the end of the journey, so spent the last few moments concentrating on not throwing up, but I loved the experience and the company so much!!
After the sailboat ride, the fun wasn’t over yet. We headed back in to town and ate supper at an Addis in Cape, a wonderful Ethiopian restaurant. We ate with our hands and had a great time. They brought out these long flaming ropes and sang happy birthday to me. I even get a free Addis shirt out of the deal! It really was the perfect night.
I had my first day at the beach, my first sailboat ride on the ocean, my first Ethiopian food…not to mention my first encounter with Matt Damon. But the best part of the day was my wonderful friends that took the time to make this day so special. As many of you remember, I was so nervous to come here and not know anyone. One of my prayers was to make good friends and as always in my life I have been abundantly blessed! Throughout my life, God has continually blessed me with the gift of wonderful friends and this place has been no different. I know I don’t deserve the love I receive, but I am so grateful for it. I can’t thank Tami, Theresse, and Caroline for caring enough for making my 28th birthday the best ever! I love you!!
Thank you as well to all my friends who wished me a happy birthday from far away. Along this trip I have been continually reminded of how much I appreciate my friends at home. I have traveled half way around the world and have officially decided that you are the best. I am by nature a very shy person, and I remember when I was younger specifically praying for the gift of friendship in my life. I have received abundantly in response to that prayer. As I look around at the different friends given to me at different time of my life – whether high school, college, grad school, work. church, and now Cape Town – I am humbled by the love you show to me. What wisdom God has in placing people in our lives in the moments we will need them.
I also received a call from my mom and dad tonight. This trip has also given me an even deeper appreciate for my family. When I came on this trip one of the most common questions people asked was – what does your family think about this? Are they okay with you going? At first I was surprised by this question. Of course they are okay with my going. They are my biggest encouragers and number one fans! It never crossed my mind that they would be hesitant about my leaving. I am so thankful for a family that supports me, prays for me, encourages me to dream big, and assists me in following through with those dreams. I love that you read my blog every day and that you share in this adventure as if you were here. I am so humbled that I was allowed the opportunity to be placed in such a loving family. I love you all!
So…happy birthday to me. If my birthday is any indication of what this year will be like – I am so excited for the adventure!
Originally there was a possibility we would be painting a school in one of the townships, but that got canceled. I was pretty bummed about that, so imagine my surprise when today was the best birthday ever!! I started off the day by celebrating 28s. I took 28 flights of stairs, ran on the treadmill for 28 minutes and then rode the stationary bike for 28 more. I tried to think of all the other 28 things I could do, but 28 bottles of water sounded like a bit much and 28 phone calls home would have been too expensive, so the 28s ended there.
My friends and I met for breakfast to plan out the rest of our time here in Cape Town. After breakfast they asked what I wanted to do for my birthday, hinting that our evening plans had already been made, but that the afternoon was open. We decided on a relaxing day at the beach since I hadn’t done that yet. It was a beautiful day. We laid around on the beach, reading and talking and just enjoying the lazy afternoon. Then we headed back home. I was instructed on what to wear and told to meet back down in the lobby in a few hours. I ended up chatting with a friend from home, so I rushed to get ready in about 15 minutes, just barely getting the sand rinsed off my legs. My friend had called a taxi and told the driver were to take us without giving me any idea. I think the taxi driver took us a backwards route to try to throw me off – little did he know I have no sense of direction in Cape Town, so it was no use. (p.s. he was not scamming us – the price was the same as usual. ☺) On our way there they asked me what I thought they were surprising me with. I explained that I’m pretty hard to surprise – I usually make up such lavish surprises that when the real ones come, I’ve already thought of them. I told them that I’d tossed around the idea of someone from the US coming to surprise me … or maybe even some celebrities joining us to celebrate my big day. They thought that was pretty funny and said they hoped I wasn't disappointed.
We ended up down at the waterfront and walked along the water by all the sailboats. At the end of the row, we stopped in front of a boat. My friends had arranged for a sunset sail in the bay on a cute little sailboat. How perfect!! We had a few minutes to mill around before time to leave, so we walked up and down the water. As we were walking, I saw a man with an earpiece talking into his sleeve. I thought that was odd and looked up to see another one a few feet in front of us. I brought it to the attention of my friends who looked around to see who could possible be that important. Tami spotted Matt Damon in a group of people and tried to point him out. I assured her it wasn’t Matt Damon. We could only see his back, but I was sure it wasn’t him. Then, he turned – totally Matt Damon! Right there in front of us. He’s shooting a movie in Cape Town. I never thought I would be so star struck in a situation like that, but I totally was. We tried to shoot some nonchalant photos, but were blocked by his body guards. We had to walk back by him to get on our boat and the body guards followed us. I know – we look like shady characters. ☺ We still couldn’t get a picture, so we decided to get on the boat. He sat down at a table on the water for dinner and we climbed aboard our adorable sailboat with the cutest old man captain. From our seats on the boat, we had a direct view of Mr. Damon. He looked over at us and we waved. I yelled out – “It’s my birthday!” He said. “Happy Birthday!!” We giggled and smiled and acted like totally idiots. ☺ He let us take some pictures of him and even smiled for the camera. He was very nice. Then as we were about to pull away he looked at us again, smiled, waved and said, “Have a happy birthday!” Caroline says he also said “You look smashing” but Tami and I were a little to excited to notice. We told him to have a great dinner and waved as we drove away. Caroline insisted that he said “You look smashing.” I said he probably said, “You look smashed” because it took me a while to get my sea legs under me and I ended up a bit sea sick, but she’s pretty confident, so we’ll go with what she said. ☺ Anyway…I guess they did surprise me with my celebrity appearance after all. Needless to say, we were pretty excited. I’m sure Matt Damon will remember my birthday for many years to come. ☺
The boat ride was perfect. No one else had bought tickets for the night, so it was like we’d chartered the sailboat for ourselves. There were beautiful views of the city and Table Mountain and we watched the sun set over the ocean. The girls had brought some snacks and even some sparkling grape juice for me. ☺ The waves were huge, so there was quite a bit of rocking and I was just thankful I didn’t topple over the side of the boat. It was my first time on the ocean in a sailboat and I didn’t quite master the skill of walking without having to lunge out and catch myself on ropes and cables along the way. I started to get a little seasick at the end of the journey, so spent the last few moments concentrating on not throwing up, but I loved the experience and the company so much!!
After the sailboat ride, the fun wasn’t over yet. We headed back in to town and ate supper at an Addis in Cape, a wonderful Ethiopian restaurant. We ate with our hands and had a great time. They brought out these long flaming ropes and sang happy birthday to me. I even get a free Addis shirt out of the deal! It really was the perfect night.
I had my first day at the beach, my first sailboat ride on the ocean, my first Ethiopian food…not to mention my first encounter with Matt Damon. But the best part of the day was my wonderful friends that took the time to make this day so special. As many of you remember, I was so nervous to come here and not know anyone. One of my prayers was to make good friends and as always in my life I have been abundantly blessed! Throughout my life, God has continually blessed me with the gift of wonderful friends and this place has been no different. I know I don’t deserve the love I receive, but I am so grateful for it. I can’t thank Tami, Theresse, and Caroline for caring enough for making my 28th birthday the best ever! I love you!!
Thank you as well to all my friends who wished me a happy birthday from far away. Along this trip I have been continually reminded of how much I appreciate my friends at home. I have traveled half way around the world and have officially decided that you are the best. I am by nature a very shy person, and I remember when I was younger specifically praying for the gift of friendship in my life. I have received abundantly in response to that prayer. As I look around at the different friends given to me at different time of my life – whether high school, college, grad school, work. church, and now Cape Town – I am humbled by the love you show to me. What wisdom God has in placing people in our lives in the moments we will need them.
I also received a call from my mom and dad tonight. This trip has also given me an even deeper appreciate for my family. When I came on this trip one of the most common questions people asked was – what does your family think about this? Are they okay with you going? At first I was surprised by this question. Of course they are okay with my going. They are my biggest encouragers and number one fans! It never crossed my mind that they would be hesitant about my leaving. I am so thankful for a family that supports me, prays for me, encourages me to dream big, and assists me in following through with those dreams. I love that you read my blog every day and that you share in this adventure as if you were here. I am so humbled that I was allowed the opportunity to be placed in such a loving family. I love you all!
So…happy birthday to me. If my birthday is any indication of what this year will be like – I am so excited for the adventure!
Friday, March 27, 2009
theatre day
Today was theatre for many of the kids I was working with. One little 8 year old was particularly anxious about surgery. I got there just as she was going back, so I kind of walked behind her showing her pictures and letting her play with the mask. She mostly just laid in her mom’s arms and cried, though. We had some time outside of theatre and I let her hold the mask. She didn’t keep it very long, but at least she was able to become familiar. She speaks limited English, so it was difficult to provide comfort, but we blew bubbles and that calmed her for some time. She like my glitter wand, too so I let her hold on to that (when she woke up, that's what she remembered and asked for me to bring it right away). I know I’ve mentioned this before, but the surgical team is just amazing here. They gave her something to decrease her anxiety and when she had calmed, had her mother carry her into the operating room. Her mother held her while the anesthesiologist administered the gas. She was a little anxious about the mask, so the doctor put it on mom and then the girl’s arm, then forehead, then cheek and finally mouth. By that time she was pretty comfortable. It’s so wonderful to see that kind of care and willingness to work at the child’s pace. I walked mom out when we were done and saw her crying. I gave her a hug and praised her for the support she provided for her daughter. It was such a comforting environment – truly family centered care at it’s best!
I also accompanied Missy to theatre today. She wanted me to carry her, so I took her from her room and she clung to me as we walked to theatre. I showed her the picture of the operating room so she would know where we were going. I also let her carry the mask. She placed it willingly over her mouth, showing that she remembered it's purpose as was comfortable with its use. I held her in my arms as she hugged me and they administered the mask. She rested so peacefully.
I also had quite a few very active kids in my bay today. We did some group medical play with a doctor’s kit and traced each others hands with crayons. Many of them had burns on their hand, so it was a nice therapeutic activity – both for touch and for normalization. You could just see a craving in these children for attention and play. Many of them are without parents in the hospital and some are from the streets. It’s so great to see those needs fulfilled while they are here.
There is such a need for community education; both for burn prevention as well as reentry into society for burn survivors. That is something we foresee addressing in the future, but we have to take things one step at a time. It is so neat to watch this program grow and develop and to dream about where it will be able to go from here.
Tomorrow is my “golden” birthday. I was hoping to spend it painting a school in one of the townships, but that plan fell through. I guess just being in Cape Town will have to be cool enough. ☺ I’m so thankful to have friends here to celebrate with, and am thankful for all of you at home who have sent wishes and I know are celebrating from a world away! ☺ Love to you all.
I also accompanied Missy to theatre today. She wanted me to carry her, so I took her from her room and she clung to me as we walked to theatre. I showed her the picture of the operating room so she would know where we were going. I also let her carry the mask. She placed it willingly over her mouth, showing that she remembered it's purpose as was comfortable with its use. I held her in my arms as she hugged me and they administered the mask. She rested so peacefully.
I also had quite a few very active kids in my bay today. We did some group medical play with a doctor’s kit and traced each others hands with crayons. Many of them had burns on their hand, so it was a nice therapeutic activity – both for touch and for normalization. You could just see a craving in these children for attention and play. Many of them are without parents in the hospital and some are from the streets. It’s so great to see those needs fulfilled while they are here.
There is such a need for community education; both for burn prevention as well as reentry into society for burn survivors. That is something we foresee addressing in the future, but we have to take things one step at a time. It is so neat to watch this program grow and develop and to dream about where it will be able to go from here.
Tomorrow is my “golden” birthday. I was hoping to spend it painting a school in one of the townships, but that plan fell through. I guess just being in Cape Town will have to be cool enough. ☺ I’m so thankful to have friends here to celebrate with, and am thankful for all of you at home who have sent wishes and I know are celebrating from a world away! ☺ Love to you all.
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