final interactions

I have been avoiding this blog entry, I think since the day I arrived here. This will be my last entry from Cape Town, South Africa. Many of you have asked if I will continue blogging after I get back to the US. I will, I’m sure in the week to come, record my feelings as I begin to realize what I’ve experienced and actually have time to sit and process the difference it has made in my life. I’m not sure what will happen from there. I really don’t know where life will lead me from this point. I’m trusting, however, that whether I am in some foreign country around the world or at home in the Midwest, my life will continue to be a great adventure. So, check back every now and then. Perhaps you’ll stumble upon something worth reading (no promises, though!).

It has been very hard for me to sit down and record my feelings and experiences from this last week. I keep writing words and deleting them – not able to fully express what I’m feeling and not really sure myself what emotions are stirring up inside me. I feel very disconnected from the words I’m writing, so please bare with me as I attempt to sort through them while I share some of my final interactions from the week.

Tuesday, 28 April

The Pain Management Team had a goodbye tea for Taylor and I this morning. My favorite part about tea is the excuse it gives you to eat rich chocolate desserts at 10 in the morning. It was very nice to hear the kind words from everyone. They have so embraced this project and it has been such an honor to be a part of it. I had a whole speech ready to share about how I came to Africa to teach about Child Life, but have learned so much more in return. Unfortunately, in true Cara fashion, I started crying the moment I sat down and was only able to squeeze out a few “thank you so much” s. I think I did manage to say that the changes occurring in South Africa would ripple into other areas of the world, including the change it has made in me that I hope to take home and apply to my own work with patients and families. But then I started crying again and decided to focus on eating the cake sisters instead.

Missy and Joe were back for an outpatient visit again. Missy was in such a good mood. She was playing and laughing and talking. It was so great. At one point, she was sitting on my lap, giggling and blowing bubbles. One of the sisters walked by and asked Missy a question in Afrikaans. Missy smiled really big, nodded and said something back. The sister told me she’d asked Missy if she was really glad to see me today. Missy said that she was. It was really nice to hear. Missy can be so reserved sometimes and we don’t speak the same language, so sometimes it’s hard to know how she feels about our interactions. As I prepare to leave, it was nice to know that Missy had been positively affected by our time together.

Wednesday, 29 April

Another goodbye and another excuse for a tea. This morning we said goodbye to the C2 staff at tea after ward rounds. Prof said some really nice things about the Child Life project. He is the one who wasn’t totally sold on our involvement when we first started, but has now become one of our biggest supporters. He usually sights our presence in theatre as one of the biggest impacts we’ve made; claiming the children are much calmer and cooperative when we’re there. He recently attended a meeting in Durban where he gave a two hour presentation. Thirty minutes of that time was spent talking about Child Life and what he calls “complimentary medicine.” It was just so exciting to see the transformation of someone unsure of our presence on the ward to someone spreading the word about Child Life around South Africa. Later that day Prof also asked if we could process the length of stay a couple of boys will have to endure at the hospital. They will be there for approximately 2 months away from their families. Prof wanted us to use play to help them understand that and work through their feelings. How awesome is that?! He really gets what we do!!

Prof went on in his speech to talk about the ward. He mentioned how wonderful C2 was because the staff works as a true team. There is no hierarchy. Each profession is respected and valued for the expertise they bring and everyone is treated with the same respect. Sometimes that means everyone is equally rude to each other, but at least they’re all treated the same. ☺ Seriously though, that is the one thing I have appreciated so much that until this moment I hadn’t been able to put my finger on. When each member of the team is truly respected and given voice, they are freed to perform their greatest works, and the patients truly benefit. I’m not saying the ward is perfect, there are definitely challenges to bringing change, but for the most part, people have bee so open to new ideas and experiences. I hope that I can remain open in my own work to accept those ideas and suggestions of others, and in turn have the confidence to speak my own ideas with confidence.

I found myself speaking up a number of times to advocate for the kids. Situations like these have filled me with a confidence to go back and do my job well, to speak up and not be afraid; to have courage and confidence to do my job; to create a team where people aren’t afraid to talk to each other – no matter their position.

Thursday, 20 May

Today was my last day at the hospital; my day of final interactions. It was very bitter sweet. I had some wonderful play opportunities with the kids. I did about 4 surgery preps and 2 procedures supports in my first hour of the day. The kids were responding so well. It was the perfect way to end my time here. A number of kids came in today to receive their pressure garments, including Joe and Missy. It was kind of a neat ending to my time here, to see the kids I had started with progress to the stage where they were ready for their garments. There has been such a transformation in them, physically and emotionally. It was so wonderful to see.

I had a huge medical play session on the floor in the bay I worked in today. It may have been more fun for me to watch the reactions of the parents than it was the kids. As the mothers watched their children play and interact with eacth other, their stress turned to sheer joy. They were smiling and laughing right along with the kids. We often realize the positive affects of play on kids, but in this situation the positive effects on the parents were just as powerful. I think it was also good for many of the mothers to realize their kids are still the same kids.


I was feeling pretty good after all the successful interventions of the day. Other than dropping a crib rail on my foot, leaving it bleeding, bruised, and with a nice goose egg, my day had been pretty successful. I began my goodbyes to both the staff and the kids. One of the mothers said, “Shame. Only 2 months” when I told her I was leaving. I heard a lot more “Shames,” as I said my goodbyes. The most difficult goodbye was with the two little friends here from Zimbabwe awaiting surgery for the keloid scars. They greet me every morning with a running hug and their hugs flow abundantly throughout the day. I told them I was going home to America and today would be my last day. They just laughed at me and said, “You’re so funny.” They asked if I was coming back, but I told them no, that this was a forever goodbye. They asked when I was leaving. I said Saturday. One of them said, “So you will come tomorrow.” I explained the next day was a holiday and I would be getting ready to go home. They finally understood (as much as they could at that point) and gave me giant hugs and kisses goodbye. One of them climbed onto my shoulders and wouldn’t let go. I gave them final hugs and said my farewell to them, to the staff, and to the hospital. I cleaned the toys one last time, walked through the pointless metal detector one more time, took the bus home one more time, and let myself cry one more time (okay, so maybe more than once!).

When we got back to the apartment, my friend Tami was preparing to leave for her flight. We all sat around for a while talking and looking at old pictures, remembering our favorite moments together. When it was time to go, we walked her out to her taxi. It finally felt real that this would goodbye. She cried and we cried and she drove way from this adventure.


Saturday, May 2

Today is my last full day in South Africa. I’m not at a point where I can tell you what I’m feeling. That will have to come later. I’m also really tired. I am trying to stay up late tonight to help myself transition back to Central Time. It’s hard. You all are just getting home from work and I’m going insane, I’m so tired. ;) Hopefully I’ll be able to sleep in tomorrow and use the flight home to my advantage. I’ll be home Sunday at noon for those of you wanting to make sure my lawn is mowed and my house clean (hint. hint. ☺)

This morning Jamie, Danielle and I tried to hike Lion’s Head one more time, but it was foggy and started raining by the time we made it half way up. The rocks were pretty slippery, so we headed back down. I spent the rest of the day tying up loose ends and just enjoying my friends here. Caroline is gone for the weekend, so we said our goodbyes over the phone. It’s not quite sinking in yet, perhaps when I get to the airport, or walk on the plane, or maybe off the plane at home…or maybe a few weeks from now.

At any rate, I hope to find the time to truly realize what I’ve experienced here. I hope that I have accomplished what God had for me to do here. I still feel inadequate, but I know that God uses the willing, not always the strong. I pray that the experiences I have had have truly touched the lives of others, and that my life in turn has been changed for the better.

I hope that each of you has come to realize the ability in each of you to impact the world around you, whether you’re in Cape Town, South Africa or Kansas City, Mo, or where ever you may be. I never thought I would be able to do something like this….now I don’t know why I ever waited so long!!

Thanks for walking with me on this journey. God is SO good! His Love is so vast!

I’m signing off from Cape Town.